Free

‘Go away, what are you looking at ? ‘
She was shivering with fear, she hadn’t seen him that red ever.
‘You insolent brat, I will show you and her what I am capable of, just wait and watch ‘.
And her tears trickling down her eyes slowly. She was used to watching her father physically abusing her mother and all that scurrility. Her beautiful sparkling eyes which held universe of joy and glee was losing its shine. Her small universe was slowly wrecking day by day by wrath of his father.
But that night, it was almost shattered, she tried to seize back the glimmer that her eyes once offered, she couldn’t afford to lose what she only had.
And that night, she had had enough of his father beating his mother, she had had enough of his mother tolerating those abuses, she had had enough of she just dreading him. Soon that shiver from fear turned to anger.
And like volcano explodes, her anger exploded, she so wanted to let that out and she did. Taking knife from kitchen, she charged at her father, all that sorrow , all that anguish flew out like the blood gushing out of her father’s body. And it was all red like every night, but today, it was her father’s blood instead of her mother’s.
She along with her mother, ran , ran through darkness that her father smeared in their lives and she felt the light, light reviving through his eyes annihilating the gloom which seemed to succumb their world.
Gradually, seconds after seconds, universe which her eyes held, her soul enveloped, was reconstructing. She felt that world lingering in her heart. And there was joy dispersing in her life , in their lives. And he just sat there helplessly and painfully watching them finally being free.

Finally, they climbed out of that pit of despair her father created. They were Free.

Verses

There she was struggling
with how to comfort her heart
which has been stabbed many times
both from front and back,
but instead of blood gushing,
it was sadness she was soaked with
and depression trying to strangle her
with its gloomy hands
and there was she, alone, struggling to heal that wound.

Struggling to fill that void.

There she was fighting,
for her emotions that
can anytime submerge in
ocean of sorrow,
to be able to give slight
tinge of glee to her soul which
was slowly forgetting
the feeling of happiness.
And she finally found the answer.
The precise way to fight back and to win.

She got her solution
in a pen and an empty paper
which were waiting patiently,
to be touched by her obscurity
waiting for her to bleed her depression out
to repaint her soul,  not with just joy
but with self satisfaction and comfort
which were ceased from her heart.
So, she wrote her gloom down,
scribbled about the glee she needs
scrawled about how a pen made her believe
that we are the author of our life and
we can change it anytime we want
and these verses are the proof.

Darkness

As I loitered around those empty lanes ,
As I was lost in those silent boulevards,
I felt someone ,
I felt strange.
It came tip-toedly
and so quitefully,
it grasped me from behind,
it blocked me from every direction.
I kept on trying to get away with it,
I kept on fighting to loosen its grip.
Then, something about it strike my mind
many things about it intrigued my heart,
I felt he was no stranger,
a feeling of familiarity gushed in through my mind,
while it was tightening its grip,
I was pondering over countless options of who could it be.
It somewhat resembled my soul,
dark and so peaceful
but with some hues of blue
it was just like me
it carried something, which I carry with me.
And while I thought, he grasped,
finally revealing itself to be night,
dark with the tinge of blue,
black imbued with sorrows
so peaceful , yet so plundering,
so quiet , thus so thoughtful.
Then, night wrapped itself completely over my soul,
until they become one,
and at that moment, it felt soothing,
I felt powerful.
It gifted me with myriad of vivid thoughts,
I knew thoughts were my power,
And then, everything changed,
except the darkness.

Fall

I had a fall,

didn’t have someone to call,

for the help i needed.

‘Cause I knew not single soul ever heeded.

 

I trusted the wrong,

but that was not for too long.

At last their masks fell off

and, I left those cheats, for their deception was off.

 

I am damaged

and my mind is utterly dazed

I locked my feelings forever,

for they are meant to be confined and shown never.

 

I am all blue,

and my heart doesn’t have a clue

that, why it is still hurtful

and what made nothingness so painful.

 

But here I am now,

bleeding rhymes somehow

through the lesions that still ache

I know , all this and their ravages will fade.

 

I had a fall,

didn’t have someone to call,

for the help i needed.

‘Cause I knew not a single soul ever heeded.

Undress 

It was month of October,

when leaves of autumn adorned the roads

and in between those beautiful golden lanes,

my eyes stumbled upon her.

She sitting on the bench

as if contemplating about her life

looking all engrossed in thoughts of other world,

made a quick eye contact and looked away,

ignoring my existence

and my eyes

capturing every detail of her face,

tripping over tiny bumps of her cheeks,

giving rise to a conflict between heart and brain,

between urge to talk to her and move ahead,

but me being a man of logic ,

walked ahead having all her particulars in memory,

and also urge to move back,

and grasp her thoughts,

undress them with my love,

hold them with my trust,

handle them with my care,

and know her all secrets,

and to unveil the demons she was hiding from this world,

from which she seemed scared of

to tell her about how

her silky hair gorgeously embellished her face

and how her eyes have charmed my soul

and how I was captivated by her serene frown,

and how badly

I wanted her to smile

but I moved ahead keeping this

love at first sight in my memories.

And now whenever I come across those lanes,

I reminisce that day

wishing her to be seated in that same bench,

so that I can make my first move

and break this endless shrieks of my regrets.

The Prologue 

I started writing poems, stories and other stuffs when I was about to complete my 12th grade. I started with writing comedy ( which now I see wasn’t actually comedy) , I would twist the things of reality like my teachers and friends and include them in my stories in different light , with totally different unrealistic situations and that was fun. And then I shifted to poetry, my first poem was about suicide, like every Indian parents, my parents hoped me to make it to IITs and I didn’t, so out of dejection I wrote that poem, and then I touched various topics like hope, new day , love etc. and converted into poems. Presently, I am pursuing engineering , in 2nd year and I made this blog to show what I feel about different stuffs in form of simple poems or just simple text, my every poem has a story behind it , some are lame though. But I hope whoever reads this enjoy this.

Welcome to discrete pages of my life.